#SilentNoMore: It’s time we speak out

It was the first time I was taking the local in Mumbai and hopped on to the general compartment. I was taking the Bandra to CST and needless to add, there was hardly any space to move during office hours. An elderly man signaled me to take a seat next to him. I was pleasantly surprised and maneuvered my way to the seat and thanked him profusely. He smiled and put his hand on my head and before I could realise made way to the lower half of my body.I squirmed, pushed him away and managed to reach the door and hopped out in the next station. It took me a while to start using the locals in Mumbai again. And this is one of the many instances where I was groped... There are several such cases where I have been felt up, molested. I have screamed, pushed men away and the instances have been repeated. I am sure women will agree that most of us have experienced such nightmarish experiences in our lifetime. It’s time we Speak Out.
— Nuzhat.Aziz@timesgroup.com
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I was 13 and got separated from my family while we were pandal hopping during the Ganpati festival. Squeezed between too many bodies in a huge crowd, I felt a hand slither around my ribs from behind. Scared, I craned my neck to turn around and saw a thin, balding man in his late 50s withdraw a shaking hand. I thought it must have been a mistake. But as soon as my head turned the hand was back. I peeled it off my chest with difficulty and turned around angrily to look at that man; he smiled and moved away from that spot. I was left aghast. No one noticed this exchange between the two of us, or perhaps they chose to ignore; I don’t know. But to this day I fear walking in crowds, especially during festivals.
— Shalaka.Nalawade@timesgroup.com
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The recent incident of mass molestation in Bengaluru has left us shocked and outraged. And to make matters worse, our so called moral guardians (in the garb of politicians); have been bombarding us with their opinions on how the incident is a result of influence of western culture on women.

We are in 2017. And yet, the regressive mindset of putting the blame on the women continues. We are constantly been told: ‘You can’t wear this. You can’t drink. You can’t go out with a stranger. Carry a weapon, you never know... It’s dark outside’.
Enough already!
It’s time we speak out. It’s time our government and lawmakers form stringent laws to put the fear in the hearts of the perpetrators. It’s time we realise that violence in any form is not okay. It’s time for the men around us to be sensitive; to stand up, acknowledge and protest when a crime is committed. It’s time we educate young minds to respect women; to tell them that it’s not funny to tease a girl or think of them as inferiors or to joke about them. It’s time we wake up.
Last year, when 'PINK' released, we all lauded the efforts made by the film’s makers and conveniently forgot the message the moment we stepped out of the movie theatre. Bollywood also has an equally important role in shaping young minds. Glorifying stalkers and objectifying women needs to stop.

Culprits need a moral lecture, not women
Incidences of molestation have become a day-to-day experience for women in our country today. How many times have you thrown up your hands in exasperation after reading the ‘oh-so-thoughtful’ statements of authorities related to molestation, sexual abuse and rape cases? Countless, we are sure. But how long till all of this actually stops? Despite living in changing times, our view of women is absolutely regressive. Objectification of women, treating them as commodities that should be presented before us at will and counter-questioning their morality when they are subjected to harassment has become the norm for the men of today and there’s hardly any woman who hasn’t gone through such disgusting experiences. We at Pune Times decided to ask readers to write in to us with #SilentNoMore and we received several mails and tweets where women have spoken up against molestation, against abuse and highlighted the importance of a safe city, of a safe environment. We bring you a few of the responses. Let’s Speak Out.
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The reason many women shy away from lodging a complaint is because they are only made to feel like the perpetrators. The people that are there to help us, in turn instil fear in our minds. When a molestation or rape case catches attention, the first reactions from authorities are excuses. Instead, it would help greatly if they work towards nabbing the culprits. The biggest joke is police and netas lecturing us on morality. They have no right to tells us what’s moral and what’s not! If these issues aren’t resolved soon, I think girls will have to step out wearing Darth Vader suits soon.
— Renuka Shahane, actress
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I don't think there's a day that goes by without reading about a rape or molestation case. Women are not toys. The way we are being treated today is disgusting.
Honestly, I feel that if you find the culprit, shoot him then and there. That will at least suffice as an example to others who are even thinking of doing something heinous like this. There have been times when I was at the receiving end too. At one time, I used to let it go but now I make it a point to retaliate. Being quiet about it is not going to help.
— Sanskruti Balgude, actress
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During my school days, I was abused by this teacher of mine. I was in class IX and used to go for tuition classes to him. He would try to take my pictures. I was petrified. He also tried to blackmail me. It was a ghastly experience. Later on, when I was working in Delhi, the marketing head of the company I worked at tried to force himself on me. However, he was thrown out of the organisation when I reported the incident to the authorities.
— Nikita Gokhale, model-actor
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The reason why women don’t lodge a complaint when they are molested is because rather than finding the culprit and punishing him, women are held responsible for what happened, by the system. Women who go through such incidences are already in shock. But rather than comforting them, the authorities and the society in general question their character and morality. Unless and until it is ingrained in people’s mind that even if a woman is out till late, wears short dresses and likes to have an occasional drink, making her feel safe is the responsibility of the system and society. Till then, such cases will keep on going unreported.”
— Madhu Chaugavkar, women right activist
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Our film, The Silence, deals with sexual abuse by people close to you. When we were researching for the film, we met a lot of people who had suffered abuse. I was speaking to a lady at the bank about it and was shocked to hear what she had to say. She told me, ‘Such things are not to be discussed. It is women like you that bring shame on the society.’ It is surprising that women, who suffer the most, too have such regressive views.
— Ashwini Sidwani, screenplay writer
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People have this belief that molestation or crimes against women happen during the night, when no one is around. That’s not true. I was walking home after dropping my kid at the activity centre around 12.30 in the afternoon. Suddenly, two men on a bike started following me and calling me names. One of them got down and shoved me. When I started shouting and abusing them, they ran away. This incident shook me to core, yet I didn’t report it. Because what would I have said? The police would have asked me a hundred questions. I didn’t know who those men were or where they came from; I didn’t even see their faces clearly. So, I just let it go.”
— Shilpa Sonawane, a 30-year-old homemaker and mother
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Molestation is the reality of every Indian girl’s life. No matter who you are or what you have achieved in life, you are a victim of these heinous acts. The company that I used to work at was situated in the MIDC area, on the outskirts of Nashik. I was waiting at the bus stop one day when a man came up and stood next to me. Suddenly, he tried to touch my chest. I froze but somehow managed to push him away. I literally ran back to my office and stayed there till late. Later, I asked my father to pick me up. For many days I didn’t have the courage to go the office. I wanted to report the incident, but realised futility of it and dropped the idea.”
— Shivangi Varshney, a 26-year-old IT professional
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A youngster from Pune, on condition of anonymity, said, “My friend was at a dandiya night with her office mates. After the event, all of them were hanging around for a while and her boss misbehaved with her. Unfortunately, she decided against lodging a complaint fearing social stigma. When we told her she had all our support too she refrained from complaining saying it might ruin her career. Later, she quit the job and even had to undergo counselling to overcome depression, that she suffered due to the incident.”
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